My name is ErinRae. *waves*
I’m a lot of things, to a few people, but really right now I want to get back to focusing on what I am to and for ME. So here goes…
I am a human who responds to any pronouns used respectfully. I am in a monogamous marriage with another human that I love deeply. I am rounding the corner to my 43rd year on this planet, and damn if it isn’t getting better with age (oh boy do I wish someone could have helped me process being me sooner, but here we are!). I am neurodivergent, and finally able to put words to that other than “quirky” or “different”…that feels *amazing*. I am also sober, which has absolutely facilitated said getting to know myself process in a different way.
I am a mother of three absolutely fabulous beings. I know I’m biased because I parent them but I really have to say that I am proud of who they are, not who “I’ve made them”.
I have some really bold ideas for what I would like this space to become, and I’ll start rolling them out soon. I feel really called to just create and see. Create for me. Move forward in to that which I have been circling around for quite some time. Yeah, that sounds all fancy I guess. Really I’m just ready to stop masking. The last year and a half have shown me that I actually DO like myself. I appreciate my own ideas and skills! I enjoy my own company, and the company of those in my small circle. I have spent so much time over so many years trying to fit others’ ideas of success. I think what I really wanted was for them to SEE ME. However I’ve come to realize that if I have to be different to be seen than I’m not actually being seen at all.
So, here we go. Today is the first day, but in reality its the only day. I can’t have yesterday or last month or 5 years ago back. Try as I may, I cannot harness next week, next year, or my oldest’s graduation. I have today. I *am* today. Today, I will do one small thing as many times as I can focus on to make it as good as I can. And then tomorrow I will lather, rinse, and repeat.