Baby sometimes looooove…

…it just ain’t enough. -Patty Smyth ft Don Henley

The other day my phone rang and I glanced at an unknown number thinking, “I don’t know anyone from Madera.” Suddenly I remembered I was expecting a call from Fresno Bully Rescue and I answered.¬†Terese was on the other end and we quickly got in to dog-talk.

I’ve already said how impressed I am with the people at FBR, yet I feel like I need to shout it from the roof tops after this conversation. Terese and I got to chatting about my visit with Pretty Girl (who is still so heavy on my heart and mind y’all). I addressed all of my concerns with her, and even told her a lot about how I adopted Einstein and our family dynamic as it is currently. She let me know that Pretty has a special place in her heart, and that she has her heart invested in making sure Pretty finds the right home.

It was a hard conversation, though necessary and very good. Terese told me honestly that she does not feel that Pretty is the right fit for us, as I will always second guess her behaviour. She also told me that since Einstein is almost 12, as a senior dog he really deserves to live out his time solo with his “pack” of non-fur folks. I already knew that might be the right answer in my gut…hearing it from someone else was a different pill to swallow entirely.

Terese also let me know that I can attend a volunteer orientation, and that our family can not only come help out with the dogs at the shelter but that she will train me so that I can conduct home checks for any potential adoptive family that is close to us. All of that made me feel a LOT better. Pretty is still on my mind. I still have pictures of her on my phone. I’m still on a mission to help her, and to help the other dogs at FBR.

I have spent so much time lately just cuddling Einstein. Knowing how short his time is on the planet and how much he gives to me…I cannot ever repay him for all he does. Even nightly filet mignon would not come close (and would probably be unhealthy anyway). He loves me and blesses me in a way that only pets can. In my opinion, only dogs, but I’m a dog person so I imagine that other pet people get these things from their pets too.

Kids and dogs. All of my life, those have been the two things that are my heart, my soul, and my passion. I want to change the world for them and with them. I want to help serve the world we are in to make it a better place. Some days I get really down, but even on those days I feel strongly in my heart that things CAN get better. Seeing dogs who need rescue or children who have nothing…if I sit in that place I will cry and cry. When I can shift slightly to a place where I realize that any small movement is forward movement…it helps me adjust and move forward.

The reason I never finished my degree and went in to social work is that I knew in my heart of hearts I could not do the work without either blurring the lines of appropriateness in my job or it tearing my soul apart. For years I have stayed away from adoptable (adopt-a-bull) dogs knowing that I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready…Einstein is still my heart and soul, but as I found out when Elianah was born, the heart grows and I’m ready to expand a little. I cannot wait to start volunteering with Fresno Bully Rescue, and maybe even a closer agency at some point that would allow me to do even more. Who knows.

For anyone out there considering a pet, really of any kind, I beg of you…adopt, don’t shop. There are SO MANY RESCUES!!! And shelters y’all…do not forget the shelters. We adopted guinea pigs when my son was 6. Guinea pigs!!! There are homeless birds, cats, snakes, turtles…you name it.

On the off chance that someone out there is reading this, is in the central California area, and is considering an awesome female dog (not puppy, but still only 4)…consider Pretty Girl. She is an amazing dog with a huge heart, and she deserves to have a fur-ever home.


I guess the world didn’t stop…

…for my broken heart. -Reba McEntire

Yesterday, our family packed ourselves in to my Mazda 5 and headed down to Fresno. Round trip, that is a 4 hour and 20 minute drive without stops. Why? You might be asking. Why would I put my 10 year old and my nearly 2 year old in a car for such a trip? Well…I joined InstaGram a bit ago, and while some people are on it for the “likes”, I have found a whole world of DOGS. Dogs, y’all. Dogs are my life outside of kids.

I follow a ton of dog accounts, from personal accounts owners have made for their dogs and rescue accounts. Every day I spend more time than I should ever admit looking at pictures and videos of dogs.

Last week, while scrolling through the ‘Gram (my niece and I jokingly call it that), I saw a picture of a beautiful dog named Pretty Girl. She is currently being sheltered in Fresno, CA at Fresno Bully Rescue. Let me first tell you that the people at FBR are AMAZING. The volunteers are incredible. I should also tell you that this shelter is doing so much good in the world of bully breeds in Central California. Having said all of that, when I arrived and saw just how many dogs they actually have, I stood there in tears.

Right now, typing this, I am welling up again. These dogs are there through no fault of their own because they cannot take care of themselves. Just like children, there are no bad dogs. Yes, I meant to type that. There are no bad children, only children with bad behaviours (and bad caregivers/parents/examples). There are no bad dogs. There are dogs who have been put in horrible situations. This is not up for debate, I genuinely believe both of those statements as fact. There are no bad children, there are no bad dogs.

At Fresno Bully Rescue there are some amazing, beautiful dogs just waiting for their fur-ever home. Pretty Girl has found herself at FBR for the SECOND time. Her spirit is so broken y’all. I want to just wrap her up in blankets and carry her to safety. She was originally found wandering the streets, and adopted out to a family with a young child. She was trained to be an emotional support dog for this young child. Then, the child’s parents divorced and somehow, neither of them could find a place to live to house Pretty Girl with them. So…back to FBR she went.

Yesterday, when we took her out in to the yard, she was very shy. Skittish, ears back, tail between her legs almost the entire time. My son could get her to run around a little if Stephanie (the rockin’ awesome volunteer who helped us interact with her) ran around too. ¬†Pretty Girl was sweet as can be. We had to leave her there because adoption takes time.

As we drove home, I began to examine every single second of our time with Pretty Girl. When I saw her picture I was *sure* she was meant to join our family. After interacting with her, I have doubts, and that scares me. When I met Einstein I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was meant to be mine. None of us had that experience with Pretty Girl, all though all of us like her quite a bit.

Today, I woke up on the verge of tears again. I still don’t have clarity about the “right” answer. Einstein cuddled with me all night last night because we were gone all day. All I can think about as I run my hands through his fur is “It is cold, and Pretty Girl is not able to cuddle”…and then I cry. The volunteers do SO MUCH GOOD, and yet they cannot take home all the dogs. They cannot go in to every kennel and cuddle all the time. These dogs need love, patience, kindness.

I am going to email Fresno Bully Rescue and keep talking to Terese. I’m going to let her know what my concerns are. We’ll make a plan to either interface Pretty Girl with Einstein, or move forward in a different way. I have to give it up and just pray that the right answer comes.

For every one out there, let me just reiterate: Adopt, don’t shop. Seriously. There are dogs of ALL BREEDS out there in rescues. Check your shelters. Call breed specific rescues and give a dog a chance at life. Your home may just need some nose art on the windows and some fur on the floor.